Charade
by Kare38
Summary: Max and Alec both begin to realize that they can't keep up with the charade.
1. Chapter 1

**Charade.**

**A Max/Alec character pairing story based on the TV series Dark Angel (Cameron/Eglee)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of "Dark Angel's" original storylines or characters. This author is in no way associated with the owners, writers or producers of this show.**

**Chapter One (told from Alec's POV)**

I can't do this anymore. It's literally killing me. I can't concentrate or sleep. I can't even laugh and joke around anymore. All of the looks, the touches and the kisses...the damn "pretend" make-out sessions that are only for HIS benefit. Shit I'm pretty sure Logan should be hating ME right now, not the other way around.

God why is he staying so long? Can't he talk to Dix later? I take the opportunity to kiss sensuously along Max's shoulder and neck, making my way up to her sighing lips. As I kiss her again, I can't help but think that this is torture for the both of us. Logan and I that is. It's almost worse being the one who CAN touch her though. Now I can hear Logan's voice in my head saying "bullshit Alec!". But he doesn't know what it's like to have her and NOT really have her. I mean if he were the one with her right now, well then I guess I wouldn't be having this problem. I wouldn't have Max in my lap either.

I used to think men did things for her just because she's hot. I mean let's face it, Max is not exactly Miss Personality. But I know different now. She's so much more than her outside layer and her prickly words. What's on the inside...well it pretty much sealed the deal for me. But don't get me wrong the hotness factor doesn't hurt either!

I refocus my attention and gently suck her ear lobe into my mouth, running my fingers along her barcode. I can feel Max shiver then tense all of a sudden and I instinctually tighten my arms around her knowing the "session" is coming to an end. I swear I have a permanant case of blue balls since this whole charade began.

"I think he's gone", she says softly and slowly pulls back. Of course I already know this. I can feel the change in her as soon as he leaves a room. It's like this instant on/off button she has. Who knew Max was such a good liar? She certainly learned more at Manticore than she wants anyone to believe, including herself for that matter.

"Sorry for jumping you without warning", Max whispers into my ear attempting to explain her rash actions. Was it only ten minutes ago that I was doing something completely different than I am right now?

"I didn't know he was going to be here." She gently removes herself from my lap. By here, she means our local rec center in TC. Someone managed to steal an old movie projector so that we can entertain ourselves watching pre-pulse movies during our down time. I suppose it's also a way for the trannies to learn more about human behavior so they can blend into the outside world.

"Alec! Did you hear me?" Max's voice startles me from my thoughts.

"Uh yeah", I lie, suddenly realising I haven't actually spoken since we stopped sucking face.

"Whatever, I'm gonna head home to bed. I'll see you in the morning". Then she turns and heads quickly out the door. To anyone watching us it would appear that I've said something stupid (again) and that she's pissed at me. Nothing new really.

Heading home means going back to OUR apartment. Everyone at TC also thinks we're together so innocently Luke asked us to share a living space since there's not much of it in TC. How could we say no being TC's leaders and all? That's another thing, CO and SIC working side by side every day, going home to the same apartment every night and having random make out sessions whenever the "need" arises. I can't escape having the woman of my dreams just out of my reach for even a second...believe I've tried.

Why couldn't this have stayed simple? Max and me...friends with benefits and no strings. If only she hadn't been so worried when I got shot again. About a month ago, we went on a supply run together and ran in to a few problems. White for one along his group of jacked up familiars. Of course I took a bullet, two in fact but that's nothing new right? Max stayed up all night watching over me, changed my bandages and kept my fever down. That was the night I knew. She felt so much compassion for someone she barely tolerated. Everyone in TC just thought she was worried about her "boyfriend" but something changed between us that night. Especially for me. We became friends, partners for the greater good of the trannie family and all that. I also realized why I stayed in Seattle all those months ago...love.

I SHOULD just stay here at the rec center. Find a bottle of Mole's moonshine and get shit faced until I pass out. But no I find myself heading home after awhile. I can hear her soft breathing as soon as I enter the apartment. Her scent is everywhere, permeating every space as I move towards my destination. I sigh, removing my pants and shirt and collaspe onto the ratty old couch. It wasn't comfortable...far from it actually but I'd be damned if I was going to share a bed with Max too. She'd suggested quite innocently one night that we could share the bed. It was a double after all. I declined rather strongly explaining what a terrible bed hog I was because COME ON, that went beyond even my limits.

As I settled back into the too soft cushions off the couch, I pulled a blanket over my lower half and started to replay the evening over in my head. Bad idea. I could still hear her soft moans, feel the bare skin of her back and taste the deliciousnous of her mouth. She'd opened herself up to the probing of my tongue tonight. A rarity in our daily little "shows". Usually the situation didn't have time to escalate to that point but tonight the gods smiled on me granting me a small slice of heaven before ripping it away again.

I could feel myself grow hard remembering the feel of her breasts pressed against my chest. Did I imagine that her nipples had hardened or did that actually happen? Reality and fantasy were melding together at that moment. Shit, here come the blue balls again. Might have to do something about that tonight. I listened intently to the sounds coming from the other room, still hearing the soft breathing of a sleeping Max. What the hell! I won't sleep if I don't at least try to take care of this.

I push down the front of my pre-pulse boxers, something adorned with a Disney character, Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck I think. My erection springs free but I'm still covered mostly by the blanket I have over me. I close my eyes and grasp my stiff shaft, tugging firmly from base to tip. I repeat the action several times until I'm unbelievable hard. I imagine that it's Max's hand making these motions, a bit of a stretch given hers is much smaller than my own but I go with anyhow. I continue repeating this action at a brisk pace until I'm panting softly with need. It feels good but I can't quite get there yet. I release myself to lick the palm of my hand, returning it to motion. This time, I imagine it's Max's lips caressing where my hand is. Her tongue licking lazy strokes up the side and sucking it hard into the cavern of her hot little mouth. Yup that does it! Suddenly I gasp and make a mess of my one and only blanket. Well shit now I have to do my laundry! I guess my serious case of blue balls is slightly relieved so it could be worse. My breathing gradually starts to even out and that's when I sense her.

"Alec." I look up completely shocked. Max is yawning but staring at me intently. I wonder how much she saw and then I see it, the flash of desire and embarassment in her eyes.

Well, I guess things can get worse.

End Chapter One.


	2. Chapter 2

**Charade.**

**A Max/Alec character pairing story based on the TV series Dark Angel (Cameron/Eglee)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any if "Dark Angel's" original characters and storylines. This author is in no way associated with the owners, writers and producers of the show.**

**Chapter Two (Told from Max's POV)**

God! I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Everyday it gets harder and harder to convince myself why I'm doing this. It's my own fault right? I'm the chicken shit who can't tell Logan the truth. I told Alec it was because I had tried to tell Logan what I wanted but I couldn't get through to him. That's only part of the truth though. I mean how hard did I actually try? Keeping up this charade is just easier amidst all of the other problems I have to deal with everyday. I'm starting to believe that's not entirely the truth either. Maybe there's a part of me that doesn't want to give it up, this closeness I feel with Alec. Being able to touch someone and have them touch me back.

I briefly glance across the room checking to see if Logan is still there. Yup! Crap, why is staying so long? Can't he talk to Dix later? My attention is immediately brought back to the dark corner of the room where I'm resting rather comfortably on Alec's lap. His lips are trailing open mouth kisses from my shoulder to my neck making their way once again to my waiting mouth. I can feel his tongue caressing mine and I melt into his arms, forgetting for a second that anyone else is even in the room.

I used to think women exagerated Alec's "skills". That he somehow found a way to charm them into thinking he was better than he was. I know different now. It's not just that he knows exactly where to touch and kiss, it's the passion he infuses into his every action. the look in his eyes that tells you he's rather be here with you than anywhere else at that moment. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's hot either.

He sucking on my ear lobe now while his fingers seek out my barcode. God I love it when he does that. Focus Max! Remember Logan. You need to check and see if he's gone again. I force myself to tense as I look across the room once again. Logan's not there. Dix is now watching the movie and I wonder how long it's been since they finished their conversation.

"I think he's gone", I say quietly not wanting to arouse suspicion amongst the others in the room. With transgenic hearing you never know who's listening. I stare at Alec's warm hazel eyes. I'm sitting in his lap groping him in a crowded public place and I suddenly feel the need to explain myself.

"Sorry for jumping you without warning. I didn't know he was going to be here." Alec just continues staring at me. Why hasn't he said anything? Usually I can't get him to shut up! The quiet unnerves me so I finally raise my voice at him in annoyance.

"Alec! Did you hear me?" I quesiton. He must not have because why else would he be so quiet?

"Uh yeah", he says. He's lying I can tell and he won't stop looking at me in a way that I'm not all that comfortable with so I do the only thing I know how to, I run.

"Whatever, I'm gonna head home to bed. I'll see you in the morning". I turn quickly to break from his stare and head out the door for some much needed fresh air. Well if you can call polluted toxins fresh?

I practically blur towards our apartment. Can you believe it? OUR apartment, mine and Alec's, Alec's and mine. Since everyone thinks we really are together, Luke didn't think we'd mind sharing a living space. To my surprise, I wasn't all that put out by the idea. I mean space WAS limited and what kind of leaders would we be if we didn't do all we can for the good of TC. Making Alec my SIC was a no brainer. Even Logan didn't protest. I mean when you look beyond all that smart aleckyness, Alec's a soldier through and through. One of Manticore's best even though Manticore didn't get the best of him. I feel myself swell with pride at that thought. Not that I'd ever tell Alec that. His ego is big enough already.

Why couldn't things have stayed simple? I blame it on him of course. About a month age he went and got shot...again! It was supposed to be a simple supply run, in and out. But White and his familiars as always had to complicate things. I can still see the gun raised to my face and then the blur of movement as the shots were fired. Alec had to go play the hero and save the girl eventhough "hey kick ass transgenic female who can take care of herself thank you very much". Still I guess a part of me was grateful to him. But mostly I was pissed because the thing I remember the most about that night was all the blood. Alec's blood.

I had no choice but to stay with him all night. I guess someone else could have helped but I didn't want them to. It's not like I need to sleep anyway. Watching over him I realized how much I actually cared whether he was around or not. Not just because he was helping with TC and the whole "pretend boyfriend" thing but because I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. That's when everything changed.

As I entered my bedroom, I changed into my pajamas and collasped onto the bed. There was only one. Alec slept on the couch though I don't know how. The damn thing was so uncomfortable. I offered to share the bedroom with him but you'd think I'd scalded him they way he adamantly refused, claiming lamely that he was a bed hog. I remember chastizing myself for being insulted by his reaction. I mean it's not like I wanted to sleep with him!

God I was tired. Too much thinking lately. I wonder what time Alec will be home. Closing my eyes, I fall asleep thinking of just that.

I'm not sure how long I'd been sleeping but it couldn't have been long. I awoke to the sound of heavy breathing coming from the living room. Nightmares often plagued us trannies given our pasts, so I get up from bed to check on Alec who is presumably sleeping on the couch.

What I see as I enter the living room area stops me dead in my tracks. Alec's eyes are indeed closed and his chest is bare, revealing a perfect set of six pack abs but that's not what has me staring at him in shock. Nope! Alec is NOT sleeping, his right hand is covered by a blanket but it's obvious from the movement what he's doing. He doesn't sense me watching him either. I guess his mind is on other things at the moment. I should leave, I really should but I keep wondering what he's thinking about right then. I'm mesmerized by the motion of his hand and the rapturous look on his beautiful face. Just when I think I can find the strength to break my stare, he stops moving to lick the palm of his hand, only to return it quickly to the task at hand. Holy Freaking Blue Lady that's hot. The look on his face is pure contentment and I suddenly can't take my eyes off of him. I find myself imagining if my actions could bring him that kind of pleasure. Just then he gasps and it's over.

But before I can get over myself and walk away, I feel him tense and I know he senses me there.

"Alec." I hear myself say his name aloud. He immediately opens his eyes and looks at me. I try to hide my embarassment of standing there watching him by yawning and pretending that I just woke up.

The look on his face is one of panic as we continue to stare awkwardly at each other. Both us searching for something to say.

End Chapter Two.


	3. Chapter 3

**Charade.**

**A Max/Alec character pairing story based on the TV series Dark Angel (Cameron/Eglee)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of "Dark Angel's" original storylines or characters. This author is in no way associated with the owners, writers and producers of this show.**

**Chapter Three (told from both Alec and Max's POV)**

The staring continues for quite some time until they both speak at once.

"It's not what it looks like!", they say rather unconvincingly.

There was once again a pause, of disbelief mostly, before Alec's voice fills the silence.

"Who are we kidding Max? I guess maybe it was what it looked like...for both of us. We just didn't want to get caught right?", Alec admits looking to Max for confirmation. As he makes this declaration he has the mind set to pull up his boxers under the now very sticky blanket.

"I heard heavy breathing and I thought you were having a nightmare", Max tries to explain.

"God this is so embarassing!"

"Uh thanks for worrying about me Maxie but as you can see I'm alright", he says somewhat sheepishly. "How long were you standing there anyway?"

"Not long", she responds a bit too quickly.

"But you said you heard heavy breathing. That could have been anytime and", he cuts off his inquisition at the sight of her deep pink blush. "Oh my god, you were there the whole time!", he realizes.

"Not the whole time", she protests rather weakly. "I just...well...when I saw you I couldn't stop...staring."

"Turned you on did I Maxie?", he quips.

"Shut up Alec. That's not what I meant", she says.

"What DID you mean then?", Alec questions.

"I don't know. I mean yes I was staring...there..." Max looks away embarassed. "But I was mostly watching your face. You seemed so content. I wondered what it was you were thinking about that was making you feel that way. I mean come on Alec, lately you've been different. Other people have noticed too. They've even asked me about it. You just don't seem happy. So I guess when I saw happiness on your face, I couldn't look away", she explains hoping he'll understand and not think of her as a complete pervert.

"You", Alec confesses. "I was thinking about you."

"What?"

"I can't do this anymore Max. I can't keep up this charade. You wanna know why I haven't been happy lately? It's because every time I get to touch you and kiss I know it's going to end as soon as Logan stops watching. I have to look at you everyday at command central and every night in our apartment and know that I can never have you, not really. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

Max is speechless. All of her confused feelings of late coming to a head all at once.

"Well, that brought an abrupt end to this conversation", Alec comments standing up and crumpling the dirty blanket in his hands. "As much as I'd like to stick around to hear you tell me what a great friend I am and how thankful you are for my help", he continues. "I''ve got some laundry to do." He grabs his jeans and t-shirt on the way out the door and promptly leaves the apartment, slamming the door on his way out.

A short bit of time passes but Max still hasn't moved. Her feet are glued to the floor. A part of her wanting to run after him and the other part, well she is a self-proclaimed chicken shit after all. Besides what would she say to him that he would even believe.

She starts pacing the floor talking out loud to herself. "God I'm stupid. It's not like I can make everything all right by saying I love you Alec. Please don't leave me. I know you think I love Logan and I do in a friendship way but somewhere during this whole charade, it stopped being about him and started being about you."

Max stops pacing. The confusion about her feellings having suddenly cleared. Then she continues on with her little self-motivational speech.

"Those words just sound selfish right? Putting Alec through the torture of my lies of omission, admitting that I'm not pretending anymore and sometime reach for him even when Logan isn't there. Crap! He'll never believe me", she sighs.

Suddenly it didn't matter if he did. She had to at least ty and she's tired of running. What was it she called herself earlier? A kick ass transgenic female! They didn't run from anything, especially stupid men. Forgetting that she's still in her pajamas, Max stomps over to door pulling on her boots. She'd go to him and tell him everything. Make him believe her and if he didn't, well that's his loss right? Wrenching the door open, she walks through it and for the second time that night stops dead in her tracks. There he is, leaning against the wall with a serious look on his face.

"Hey", he says.

"Hey", she says back.

"I thought you went to do your laundry?"

He shrugs. "I couldn't bring myself to leave right away."

"Not to be redundant in our questions, but how long have you been standing there Alec?"

"Not long. You know you shouldn't talk to yourself. People might think you're crazy", he states matter of factly.

Max says nothing. She simply stares at him mouth agape. Was he mocking her? Did he really think that she was nuts? Before her mind could stray any further, Alec moves towards her.

"Maxie", he sighs taking her face into the palms of his hands. "Do you have any idea how crazy I am about you? What do you say we be crazy together?"

She looks into his eyes and sees hope and happiness there. Smiling, Max says the only thing she can say to him. "Yes. I will be crazy in love with you Alec."

Then he's kissing her and moving them back towards the open apartment door, closing it behind them. Laughter can be heard on the other side. But on this side, the forgotten blanket remains on the floor. Laundry can wait for another day.

The end.

_Author's Note:_

_Thanks for reading. Once again, a happy ending. There's just too much angst and sadness in the real world to have it any other way. Originally I was just going to write a Max POV story but I love getting inside Alec's brain. Max's brain was a bit harder for me to write. I hope I did ok. _


End file.
